Out Beyond Your "Ought" Self
What are your vision and values?
Not your spouse’s, your mother’s or your father’s. Not society’s, or your church’s. Not what others say you “ought” to be. What are YOUR vision and values?
YOUR MOST COMPELLING VISION?!!
In times like this, when I let in that life is both precious and precarious, I’m more likely to take stock of my life. Am I being who I wish to be? Doing what I most want to do? With the people I dearly love? What about you?
Last Saturday, my life partner and I talked more in depth than we have before about what comes next as we scale back our professional lives. Even as we shared videos of National Parks to visit, even as we joked about overlaying tours of craft breweries with sacred sites and social justice communities, we spoke of our underlying yearning for our travel to matter for more than simply ourselves.
We laughed at the thought of hanging a shingle on the RV saying, “Counselor and Coach are in.” Of drop-ins while camped next to a placid river. Of ensuring we have WiFi for virtual connections to on-going clients.
We were getting beyond the “oughts,” all the messages we’ve internalized from others. We were peeling away the layers to find our inner desires which we may have once known and can resurrect in this spring.
Recently, we met for the second time with a retirement planner. The realities of COVID-19, volatile global financial markets, federal stimulus packages pointing to higher taxes, risk tolerance, and actuarial forecasts of life expectancy were added into the mix.
And just yesterday, a webinar, featuring Richard Boyatsis, spoke of the power of a vision. A vision activates “positive emotional attractors” which strengthen sustained, desired change. They support and stimulate imagination, motivation, and move past surviving to thriving. Boyatsis shared that, the longer we’re alive, the harder it can be to crystallize our compelling vision because the more we need to peel away our “ought” self, to see our opportunities.
And then to realize them!
Who lies beyond your “ought” self? How are you inspiring, encouraging, and empowering that vision of your self in these times?
